time for a toddler

Well folks, I feel confident in saying, my little baby is becoming a toddler.  It makes me excited to see him change, grow and blossom.  Everyday we see more peeks of what his personality is like.  The best part is seeing how proud he is when he accomplishes something new.... I know he is no longer a baby.  My days of holding and cuddling my sweet little baby are slowly stretching away.  I have been consciously be more aware of the moment and being in gratitude each night I nurse him to sleep in my arms.  At that moment, I realize just how little he still is.  I know his nursing days are nearing an end, and that is ok; he is getting older.  He no longer needs or wants that from me, but I am going to savor each moment that we have left in that journey.

But this post really isn't about me soaking in his last days of a baby, but rather it is all about the trouble that he has been getting into in his first days as a toddler!

His latest achievement is that he has begun to crawl on his belly!  Earlier this week he did it with each of his physical therapists.  He needed a little assistance, but he was doing most of the work. Well, now he is fearless and doing his best to fling himself forward and pull himself towards toys, books and anything he sees that he wants.  Yesterday I ran upstairs from the basement for a moment and when I returned, he was no longer sitting, but he had moved a foot and looked like this....

He was taking every book he could off the shelf and was sooo proud!

Just a couple hours later I heard a thud during his nap.  I ran upstairs to find that he had thrown his book out of the crib and had pull his way upright and was holding onto the rails looking out. I almost ran down to grab my camera to take a picture (because it was pretty amazing to see a child, paralyzed, upright on his body, gripping with his strong arms); but then I realized what a stupid idea that would be and instead snatched him up and cheered with him for being such a strong boy!

Needless to say, that night, daddy lowered his crib.  I can honestly say, I never thought I would need to say that we lowered his crib!

He has been ornery as ever and loves rolling around and getting into things.  He likes to go over to things he knows that he is not suppose to, looks at me, says, no no, then touches it.... like the trash can, the baby-proofed outlet covers and the drawers on our side table.  He is such a stinker.

But perhaps my favorite part of all is the new phrase he has been saying, "look, momma!"

Here is a glimpse of his budding personality.

Silly boys at lunch

Eye Love You

I remember my sister telling me when I was pregnant and anticipating the birth of my first child, "there is nothing like looking into your own eyes."  I took her word for it, but now I know what she means.  There is something deeply magical looking into your child's eyes.  I realize not all children have the same "eyes" as their parents.  Some children don't have the same genes as their parents.  This isn't about the genes or the matching eye color or perhaps not even about a child.  Maybe it is a spouse, friend or niece or nephew.

Looking into eyes can take you to another place. It's like travelling to a sacred place where life's distractions are lifted and for a moment, you have peace.  It's where love runs deeper.  It's where physical differences, abilities and disabilities aren't present.

I hope that when strangers look at my Isaac, they look into his eyes; that they do not stare at his physical differences.  In the same breath; I hope they do not turn away and not look at him at all, for fear they might look too much.  I hope rather, they look into his eyes and see the kindness, orneriness, joy and love that he is filled with.

I hope that people do not assume just because my Gabriel looks normal, that he has no pain or hardship.  For so often, we (as in people including myself) look at the outside of someone.  When they see a well-dressed, nicely manicured and put together person, we are so quick to judge.... that person is so happy, so wealthy....so whatever.  Truth be told, we all have crosses to bear and pain to experience.  I hope that people look into Gabriel's eyes and find out who he is.  I hope they look to his eyes and they will see his love, his compassion, his spirit.  An while yes, that might match his outside.... I want them to know the inside is where the true heart of a being lies.

We all have natural and God given gifts.  We all have Love.  They are within...some are deeply buried, some surfacing like a pot about to boil.  Others are so aware of these gifts that they are exploding out to be shared with the world.  I think that when we look into the eyes of another, we help to bring that LOVE that we all have within, out.

This Valentine's Day, I realized, just how important it is when we, "Eye Love You!"

The brakes are off

Watch out world.... Isaac knows how to unlock the brakes on his wheelchair.  I learned this the hard way today when I ventured out with the boys to the library.  I got Isaac out and put him in his chair and had him beside the car as I got Gabe out.  This was taking me a little while because Gabe had fallen asleep on the way there.  I look over and and Isaac had unlocked him wheels and was heading toward the parking lot!  I am sure I looked like a crazy woman trying to keep on hand on his chair, while pulling a half awake child out of the car telling him, "wake up, we're here... Isaac stop!"  And to add the chaos Isaac was yelling no and pushing as hard as he could to break free from my grip.  

It continued our little scene in the library.  Isaac being the loud toddler who loves books was yelling, " boooo, booo" at nearly every book he saw.  He would proceed to wheel to every book and try to take it down.  I would hand him a book, he would drop it... and the process would start over.  Thankfully Gabe was quietly attached to the computer game, which worked to my advantage  until it was time to go and I had to tell him about 7 times that we had to go.

Ah, but there was a silver lining.  Gabe got a library card! He was pretty proud.  And we all made it home safely.

I guess I will better prepare for our next library trip!

The boy loves......

Books!

He is always wheeling over to his little book basket.  This animal book is one of his favorites.... Is it any surprise he loves the book with dogs in it?!

He wheels around with his books.  (This book is his absolute favorite.  A little books about a girl and a dinosaur that we got from a Cheerios box!)   He has looked at it so much that the cover has fallen off.

He sleeps with his books.  Every time we get ready for nap he yells, "Boooo Booo" until he gets a book.   ( As a side note, we are still working on the ending sounds to his words.

If you try to take his book, watch out.... he has quick hands and a mean face grab.

And perhaps my favorite time to watch him "read" is when we are sitting down for breakfast on a Saturday morning and he flips mindfully through his book while he sips on his pediasure.  He ages himself in that instant by about 40 years!

Lately he has been wanting books in the car too.  It is so cute to hear him flipping through the pages as we are driving along.  I often wonder what he is thinking about when he looks intently at his books.

And just as a side note, I want to thank those who gave me multiple copies of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  You saved me from breaking up what could have been a big battle!

Date Nights

I am the only girl in our household.... but I don't mind....  I love my tough guys.

Sometimes they all blank out in true male fashion and stare at the TV.... like above.  They play basketball, tackle football, and have wheelchair races around the house.  I am sure these activities will one day break something special to me.  These activities might raise my blood pressure once in a while, but when it comes right down to it; I wouldn't have it any other way.  

My tough guys bring me such joy, peace and love.  The littlest tough guy, Isaac gives the best kisses.  And though I feel bad when Isaac turns his head away from daddy to give me a kiss instead, it secretly melts my heart.  I love the way he reaches for me to pick him up in the morning and I love the way he rubs my eyelashes as he falls asleep nursing at night.  

Gabe, my middle man is like a ball of warm, happy energy.  Always looking for the fun in life.  He gives the best hugs and I love the conversations we have been having lately... Recently every time we ride in the car we rate the songs on the radio... "is this your favorite song, mommy?" and "do you love this song too?"  

And Dan, he is my rock.  Always sturdy and strong on the outside caring, generous and loving on the inside.  He will do anything for our little boys and myself.  I am so thankful our little boys have such a role model to look up to.  

I am one lucky girl.  2013 has treated me to many date nights with these guys.  We have been so blessed that we have family and friends that have been so generous to offer their time to babysit our boys.  Since Isaac's birth it has been hard to get out a lot, just Dan and I.  Not because people didn't offer, but between breastfeeding, learning his care, trying to create routines,etc, etc.... life got busy. This was true after Gabe was born too, I just forgot about it.  I think our date nights have been good for the boys as well.  Isaac is learning how to see me leave him without crying and learning that others can put him to bed too.  Gabe is thrilled when others watch him and I think he takes those opportunities to get as much playing time in as possible!  Dan and I have enjoyed our time out together.  Not because we don't love being with our boys because we do, but because it's good for us to just be each other without worrying about being mommy and daddy for a little bit.  Of course we think about the boys and our conversations often are about them, but it's nice to not be interrupted by 20 questions, dropped sippy cups and restroom trips.  It is fun to actually go out to eat at a nice restaurant and take a stroll hand in hand downtown.  

Dan and I have also been able to take the boys on special dates too.  On Martin Luther King Day, Dan ventured out with the boys to COSI, a science museum nearby.  The boys had so much fun and so did Dan.  With Dan working and me staying home with the boys, he doesn't always get to have this one on one time with them.  I could tell he really valued this special day.  I was eager to hear that Dan also tried new ways to help Isaac be more mobile.  He figured out a way to take him and his little ZipZac chair out and about.  He loaded Isaac and the little wheelchair (which is only meant for inside use because there is no handle or brakes) into our double stroller.  He then was able to let Isaac play in his ZipZac in the play zone.  Isaac loved this independence!  And of course, he inspired the adults around him as he zipped from toy to toy.  Isaac loved the water table too!  

Dan has had some late night work functions so I have taken that opportunity to take the boys out and about.  Wednesday night I took the boys to the mall and played at the indoor playground.  They both loved it.  At first Isaac was a little annoyed because it is a hard place for him to play.  For a child that can't walk or climb, climbing toys on playgrounds offer little enjoyment.  I have to hold him up on the oversized climbing animals and help him down the slide.  But while we were playing Gabe offered to hold Isaac and go down the slide with him.  I was hesitant at first, but the slide was little so I let him.  It worked out really well.  Gabe and Isaac both laughed the whole time and wanted to keep sliding.  Gabe learned a bit of responsibility and Isaac had to trust him!  We topped our date off with a little Chick-Fil-A and then headed home.  The radio DJ must have known I was out with my boys because as we were driving into our neighborhood the song, Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts came on, one of Gabe's favorite songs.  (Lightning McQueen's theme song must be every 4 year old boy's favorite song.)  It was a good date with my little guys.  I hope that they never feel too old or embarrassed to have date nights with their mama.  

I think it is important to find the time for date nights.  For our family, it helps us to forget about the daily rush of things and just enjoy our little time away.  They don't have to be expensive or elaborate.  The playground was completely free.  While the everyday activities are the experiences that probably shape our children the most, I hope that these special dates with mom and dad will bring great memories.  I am sure their time with grandparents, family and close friends babysitting them will be great fun,  and bring fun memories, but it will also help them know that they have so many people that love them.