Today is 6 days post op. He has been in bed since Friday night (aside from sitting in a wheelchair for a little bit yesterday). He hasn't eaten anything solid for 8 days and hasn't drank anything for 7 days.
He has been patient, though it is wearing on him. Yesterday was not a hard day in terms of pain, but emotionally, he's getting bored. And the meds that he is on are making him feel a little strange and a little down. But the nurse said he is way ahead of the curve on pain meds. He pushed his pain button maybe once yesterday. He does not like taking the meds. He was even dry heaving throughout the day yesterday and every time we offered zofran he said, no, I feel better now. Perhaps some of his pain is reduced because his feeling is spotty in areas around his abdomen, but the incision goes past his line of not feeling, and it seems like he is in the most pain when he moves. But for some reason, he doesn't want the meds. So to him, laying still in one position feel safest.
We are patiently waiting for his tummy to wake up. It's been through a lot and been shut down for awhile so it takes time. They won't try clamping his NG tube which is a tube going from his tummy to his nose until he gets less output from it. It is currently sucking up normal stomach juices like saliva and bile since his tummy isn't awake yet. Once they clamp it, they can try liquids by mouth. So since he has only had IV fluids and no nutrition, they are beginning TPN today. This is a form of IV nutrition. Dan and I both agreed we wished he didn't need to go on this, however we know he needs the nutrition and we are hoping this will help give him a little more energy.
I know this all sounds like a downer update, but it really isn't. He is progressing. Healing takes time. His little body has been through a lot. His abdomen has been cut and put back together. It's pretty amazing what surgeons can do, and how resilient his little body is. In a world where everything is fast and at the blink of a fingertip tap, it makes waiting seem like a bad thing. But perhaps waiting isn't always bad.
Isaac, Dan and I (and tag along Micah), have had a lot of time together. I've gotten to read stories to Isaac, climb into bed and take silly selfies, learn a little X-Box and just sometimes be quiet together. I know being in the hospital seems like the most awful thing, and admittedly there are a million other things I would rather being doing with Isaac. And I certainly would trade places with him in a millisecond, but honestly, there is something peaceful about the slowly down of time in the hospital (from a patient/parent side). Normally my day starts by 5:00 am and ends around 11:00pm. That pretty much is the same, but right now it is 8:00, Isaac is quietly sleeping and I'm able to sit and be still. It isn't always like that, the night before last Isaac was up most of the night, but sometimes, there is quiet.
I walk around this miniature city inside Johns Hopkins. There are so many people to see, and parts of the hospital. Some things hopeful, some things very sad. I don't know people's stories, but I wonder about them. It puts life into perspective. There is so much more than this problem of mine or his.
Then I think of the outside world. I miss my girls and Gabe. I'm so thankful that I get to see them daily, even if just for a little bit. Not everyone gets that in a long hospital stay. And they are having so much fun with Grammie and Papa. Their lives are being enriched. It is an adventure, for us all. And I'm thankful for that.
Being in the hospital makes me think about gratitude and moving forward one step at a time. Today, I am thankful for this peace of the morning. The rest of the day may prove to be busy, or maybe not. I'm going to take Isaac on a walk out of his room, and finally brush his teeth. I feel as though today is a new day.
Today we will find hope in the little things and be patient about the things out of our control. We will find the humor which is something my mom always told me and we will allow ourselves to fall into the patience.
