I still would have chosen you. By Terri Banish

Dear Isaac,
Today I read this poem and it touched my heart.  I couldn't have said the words better myself.  I hope that one day, when you are old enough to understand, you read this and know just how much I love you.
Love, 
Mommy

I STILL WOULD HAVE CHOSEN YOU- By Terri Banish

If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you.

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs", I still would have chosen you.

If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed", I still would have chosen you.

If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith", I still would have chosen you.

If He had told me, "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river", I still would have chosen you.

If He had told me, "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering", I still would have chosen you.

If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change", I still would have chosen you.

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you

Go Away Germs!

Well, Isaac was on the upswing, then caught a fever again this weekend.  He seems to have more viral symptoms; congestion, fever, crankiness, etc.  I think the poor guy's immune system is down a little so any lack of sleep or little germ he comes in contact with seem to be attacking him.

Here's what I have to say about that; Go Away Germs!  You are not welcome in our household anymore!  Stay clear of Isaac, his brother and all of us for that matter!

I feel much better after declaring that to the world.  I have decided September is our month to get healthy and enjoy fall.  As I mentioned before, Isaac will be going in for his big surgery Oct. 9th.  This is his surgery when his bladder will be placed inside, his abdominal wall defect will be repaired and his pelvic cut in order for everything to rotate into the correct places.  It is a very long surgery, most likely 8-12 hours long and a very long recovery... probably 6 weeks.  He must be healthy for this big surgery.  I hope and pray that he gets healthy and all of these germs stay away from all of us so that Isaac can go into his surgery as healthy as possible.  If you have a moment, would send a positive healthy vibe his way?  He could use a some.  Thanks!

PS.  The little man got his first hair cut a few weeks ago!  I was sad to see his little baby curls go, but when 4 out of the last 5 people adored Isaac and explained "how cute she is", I decided it was time.

Before haircut:

After haircut:

On Bended Knee

Hospitals have never made me feel real great, unless I knew I was going to meet a new baby which then of course I was all about going.  It had been awhile since Isaac's last hospital stay.... actually a year to be exact.  With his upcoming surgery in October I have been trying to suppress the fact that in a month or so we will be back in the hospital for a huge surgery with a long and difficult recovery for my baby.  I was just trying to enjoy our summer and soak in all the goodness of having all 4 of us together at the same time.

There was something about this hospital stay that was needed.  I didn't want to be there.  It was hard to arrange babysitting for Gabe and difficult to be away from him all day while I tended to Isaac.  It was difficult to be away from Isaac at night while I got some rest and at least put Gabe to bed.   But, we did it.  We made it work and our kids didn't suffer from spending extra time with Grandma, Grandpa, Aunts and cousins.  Isaac managed with his night nurses and at the end of the day, time flew by and we were once again united as 4.  We were ok then and we will be ok when we visit the hospital again.  We will renew ourselves by surrounding ourselves with our family, old caretakers, new caretakers.  Gabe will have so much fun with Grandparents and cousins that he doesn't get to see often and their relationships will grow.  My heart will be heavy from being away from him throughout the day, but I know that he will benefit so much from spending quality time with other people that love him too.  My heart wishes I could trade places with Isaac and bear the pain he will endure, but I will once again be amazed at his strong will and drive and I will be renewed to toughen up myself.

Sometimes when times are good, I don't talk to my Lord.  Life is great and I forget.  But when times are hard, I beg, I pray and I ask.  One afternoon while Isaac was sleeping, Dan and I took a little walk around the hospital.  We wandered in the chapel.  It was very simple.  It had symbols from many different religions.  Shamefully, I didn't know what all the symbols were but there was a great sense of peace in that little chapel.  I liked seeing the different symbols and thinking about how it didn't matter what religion or belief that people came in there believing in.  It was safe ground for peace and comfort.  As I sat down I didn't feel the need to pray.  I knew my baby had a little virus, but he was going to be ok today, but what about other babies?  I was overcome with a deep sense of despair.  How many parents, grandparents, friends and family and walked into that chapel, dropped to bended knee in complete desperation and begged to their God for their child to be saved? How many of those prayers were answered with miracles?  How many angels were sent home with their God?

Our little hospital stay reminded me that this journey is not a sprint, but a marathon.  I am going to enjoy our September together.  I am going to prepare for Isaac's hospital stay so that it can be as comfortable for him as possible.  I am going to know that each day is a gift no matter how easy or hard it might be.  I am going to remember to get down on bended knee and be thankful and wishful and share my thoughts with my God.  He knows just what I need.

Hospital Hunches

I had a hunch when Isaac was going on 5 days of constant output that he would need hospitalized.  I have been so thankful that aside from surgery and surgery recovery we have not have any overnight hospitalizations due to illness until now.  Last weekend (Aug. 18th) we went to the doctor knowing that Isaac would probably need admitted so that we could get him hydrated.  He perked up pretty quickly after receiving the IV fluids but the nasty bug that he had hung on for a couple of days.  He stayed until Monday when he was able to take in fluids without the IV and keep everything down.  After getting some lab work back we learned that he had enterovirus.  Unfortunately, we couldn't give him a magical antibiotic to help him but we did have an explanation for his symptoms.

He came home and very slowly got back to his happy self.

Here are some pictures from him playing in the hospital:

You can tell in the beginning photos that he is dehydrated to the last photo where he is over-ly hydrated....but happy!

So thankful to be home again and grateful for all your prayers.  We are now on the quest for health as we prepare for his next hospital stay.  His next big surgery will happen on Oct. 9th.  More details on this to follow.

Our sick little puppy

As I mentioned in my previous post that a nasty bug was making it's way around our house....It started with Gabe, made it's way to me and now it crept in on our little Isaac and attacked with a vengeance.  I won't go into too much detail, but he has had intestinal distress since late Monday, early Tuesday and has lost 1 pound!  Now, 1 pound doesn't seem like too much, but for a little guy that already struggles with being small, it's a lot.  In fact it was 5 % of his body weight, thus he is "moderately" dehydrated.  Today Dan took off work after Isaac continued vomiting this morning and showed more signs of dehydration.  We thought for sure he would need to be admitted for IV fluids, but angels must be watching over him because his weight was the same when we got to the doctor.  His belly was quite gurgly, which was actually a good sign that things were in there.  He certainly doesn't feel well, but luckily we are able to keep working on fluids at home and have a prescription for a med that will help if the vomiting continues.

I am sure he will bounce back; we are hoping he bounces back real soon.... Our sick little puppy.....

(He is watching TV while he is patiently waiting to have labs drawn to check his electrolyte levels.)

On a side note, Isaac has LOVES puppies (and dogs).  Anytime he sees one or hears one he immediately says, "woof woof" and perks up.  It's my favorite thing he does these days :)

Summer Fun!

We've had such a busy and fun summer it is hard to believe it is almost over!  I think all the excitement has caught up with us because a nasty cold virus has been circulating through our house over the past two weeks.  Needless to say, we have been having some quieter days and I have welcomed more TV watching.  Luckily the Olympics have been a great source of entertainment for all of us! 

Here are the highlights of our Summer 2012

Spending time at Grandmummy and PapPap's while we got hardwood floors installed on our first floor.

Strawberry picking with our cousins!

Learning how to push my wheels on my new floor!

Enjoying the water

And our fun family vacation with Grammy, Papa and our aunts, uncles and cousin Nora!

We pet goats at the zoo,

played lots of putt-putt golf,

played our hearts out,

And conked out under the stars after our long, fun-filled days. 

Yes, this summer has been great! Hope yours has been good too!

Birthday Boy!

Yikes!  I am a bit delayed on sharing about Isaac's birthday bash, but I have pictures of the cake attack, so hopefully the wait was worth it!

Yes, he LOVED it!  He didn't hesitate and dug right in.  His right hand was on continuous shovel and load for about 10 minutes!

Isaac says, "I love you daddy, but you can't have my cake."

My yummy cake

Isaac hanging out with Daddy and his Godmother (Aunt Annie)

Isaac and daddy dancing!

Three Generations minutes before 10:09pm, Isaac's "real" birthday!

We are so proud of you buddy!  Happy Birthday!